Why I'm so annoyed by Brad Pitt

My husband keeps asking me why I'm so annoyed with Brad Pitt; why I've stopped going to his movies, why I no longer take his calls. And when I give my reasons he always says the same thing, "All those people in Hollywood are crazy! You can't tell what any of them are like."

Well, I beg to differ. So, for my husband, and any others who don't understand, this is my articulation of why I'm so annoyed with Brad Pitt. Brad let me down. He disappointed me. Unlike many movie star pretty boys, Brad could act. As the cowboy hitchhiker he stole the show in Thelma & Louise and it's been that way ever since.

He lured us into the theaters with his boyish charm and handsome face and then he makes us forget all that with his depth of character in A River Runs Through It, or Seven. He gave us haunting, dark performances in Sleepers, and The Devil's Own -- and who could compare with his "Tyler Durden" for disturbed? He takes these odd characters and makes them human. And for two hours he makes us forget that he's Brad Pitt. While watching, Interview with a Vampire I even forgot that he's heterosexual (they were gay right?).

Then he ventures into comedy -- and another Hollywood stereo type is broken. He's a hunky beef cake who can be funny! Good timing! Pitt's as the Irish Gypsy fighter in Snatch is in a category all alone. And his guest appearance on Friends is arguably one of their very best episodes. Mouthing to Rachel, "I hate you!" and her thinking he's coming on to her. What can compare with that? I ask you?

He gave us these stellar performances and more, convinced us that he is a great actor, and then Pitt does the biggest show-stopper ... he married the really fun girl who we all liked. Funny, sexy, and pretty Jennifer Aniston. Our favorite friend. Brad Pitt can have anyone and yet he picks the nice girl without the fake boobs. Kudos, Mr. Pitt, you've surprised us once again!

At this point Brad Pitt was at the pinacle for fans like me. He was golden. He was handsome and charming, he could act, - he became those roles. He was so different in every movie (take a memo Tom Hanks!). He gave us drama, he gave us comedy, and left us wanting more (I was left wanting more Oceans -- when 11 really should have sufficed).

And then ... after we all put our trust in Brad Pitt, he did the unthinkable. Brad Pitt broke our Friend's heart for that crazy, trashy, Angelina Jolie. He did what lesser men do all the time. He left a nice, lovely, marriage, for that crazy, one night stand with a stripper (which we might have forgiven him for). But not Brad Pitt. He's better than that -- or so I thought. I mean, I do understand when things don't work out between two people. But how could you go from milk and cookies to a vial of blood around the neck? She made out with her brother! Her brother!! Brad Pitt -- taking sloppy seconds from the brother!!

Brad Pitt has single-handedly made it difficult for all the wives in America to trust their husbands quite as completely. If Brad Pitt could do something like that, what about our regular-husbands? We saw the wedding photos! The kiss on the hand, The perfect image. Now wives now eye husbands suspiciously whenever they pass a trailer park, or walk through an Elvira convention. Women all over America hold on to their men a bit tighter when a biker gang's in town.

Brad. How could you do it? No -- I'm asking seriously. How could you physically do "it" with that woman? She's just a big ball of crazy. What happened, was Courtney Love unavailable? Or how 'bout Amy Winehouse? Now that Angelina wears designer clothes instead of blood jewelry and has stopped tongue-kissing her brother (at least in public) everyone seems to forget what she's like. Everyone but me.

Yes -- I'm annoyed with Brad Pitt because he broke my heart too when he tossed aside a darling, funny, warm girl (WHO WAS HIS WIFE!!!!) and got himself tangled up in that skank-web of yuck.